Mulberry Alpacas Home Page
Located in the mountains of Ashland, Oregon  
Mulberry Alpacas Saturday, 19 July, 2008  

ECONOMICS AND CULTURAL DIFFERENCES EXPLAINED --- USING ALPACAS:.

SOCIALISM:
You have 2 alpacas, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:
You have 2 alpacas. The State takes both and gives you one fleece.

FASCISM:
You have 2 alpacas. The State takes both and sells you their fleeces.

NAZISM:
You have 2 alpacas. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 alpacas. The State takes both, shoots one, shears the other, then burns the fleece ...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two alpacas. You sell one and buy a stud. Your herd multiplies, and the market booms. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two alpacas. You sell one to buy a new car, and force the other to produce the fleece of four alpacas. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the alpaca has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two alpacas. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three alpacas. 

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two alpacas. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary alpaca and produce twenty times the fleece. You then create a clever alpaca cartoon image called Pacamon and market it world-wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two alpacas. You genetically re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and shear themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two alpacas, but you don't know where they are. So you decide to have a long lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two alpacas. You count them and learn you have five alpacas. You count them again and learn you have three alpacas. You count them again and learn you have two alpacas again. You stop counting alpacas and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have five thousand alpacas that ARI don’t know about. None of them belong to you. But you charge the owners top dollar for agisting them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two alpacas. You have 300 people shearing them. You claim that you have full employment, and high fleece productivity, you arrest the man who wrote a Blog saying this wasn’t true..

A BRITISH CORPORATION                                                                                                                                                                                                      You have two alpacas. But because of a fibre surplus the Government gives you a grant not to shear the alpacas, so the European Union Agricultural Diversification Unit gives you an interest free loan to open a petting zoo. The Health and Safety Executive forbid visitors to touch the alpacas. You file for bankruptcy and sue the Government using Legal Aid.

IRAQI CORPORATION:
Everyone thinks you have lots of alpacas. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the hell out of you and invade your country looking for the alpacas. You still have no alpacas so the Americans give everyone an alpaca and tell you that’s Democracy.
 
HONG KONG CORPORATION:
You have two alpacas. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank. Then you execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 alpacas back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 alpacas. The fleece rights of 6 alpacas are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a
Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder. He sells the rights to all seven alpaca fleeces back to the listed company, and the proceeds from the sale are deferred into the following tax year.. The annual report says that the company now owns 8 alpacas, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the 2 alpacas because the feng shui is bad.

NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
You have two alpacas. The one on the left looks very attractive.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two alpacas. Business seems pretty good. You close the farm and go surfing, then drink a few beers to celebrate.